Funny Dog One Liner Jokes & Puppy Puns For The Whole Family
Do you love a good dog pun and pet humor? We’ve compiled a list of the funniest dog jokes and puns for your paw-lesure. From the best dad jokes about dogs, to funny one liners about dogs, and everything in between, we aim to make you smile from cheek to cheek by the time you finish reading our round-up.
Not only are these some of the corniest jokes we could come up with – but they are mean to be enjoyed by the whole family. Chuckle away and let us know in the comment section which dog joke, pun or riddle got you giggling.
Funny Dog Riddles
We’re kicking things off with a selection of our best dog riddles for kids. These question and answer dog jokes are engaging, entertaining and can keep both kids and adults busy and bemused. Spot our funny dog puns jokes!
Why shouldn’t a dog bark in the elevator?
Because it’s wrong on so many levels.
Because they’re always spotted.
Don’t terrier yourself up about it.
A pet-degree.
Take the words right out of his mouth.
A flea market.
Anything you like, but speak quietly!
They don’t like being hounded.
Dogmatic.
A very embarrassed Dalmatian.
A ship tzu.
His bark becomes worse than his bite.
When you get home, she’ll make a bolt for the door!
Because dogs can’t whistle.
A bark-itect.
Because he’s always snapping.
Miniature golf.
Long time, no flea.
He kept seeing spots.
It’s been nice gnawing you.
A budhound.
A jet setter.
He was leading the witness.
Parked cars.
Labs.
I should at least make a dog-nified exit.
A philoso-fur!
Sherlock bones.
That’s simply im-paws-sible!
A croaker spaniel.
Because it’s tricky to run in squares.
Because they have two left feet.
Because he bites.
A cocker-poodle-doo.
Her owner threw a boomerang.
He didn’t want to be a hot dog.
A reTAIL store.
They get their masters.
A labra-cadabra-dor.
A subwoofer.
Stepping in poodles.
A bloodhound.
Bone appetit!
By the pound.
To get to the barking lot.
Terrier-fied!
New Yorkie.
Trombones.
A sham-poodle.
Because he’s a party pooper.
A slush puppy.
A terrified mailman.
They always press the paws button.
A hush puppy.
Best Dog Related Puns
And when it comes down to it, who doesn’t love a good dog related pun? We’ve compiled our favorite bad dog jokes and the funniest dog quotes you can find – alongside more dog riddles for kids, for your enjoyment.
If your kids loved the pet riddles, they are going to love these puns about dogs as well!
Why shouldn’t a mechanic have a dog?
Because it would put a spaniel in the works.
Why did the large dog dislike the park?
- Because it was a mastiff waste of time.
What happened to the dog who let her puppies out onto the street?
- She got fined for littering.
What do police need when a dog is missing?
- A few good leads.
Why are dogs good storytellers?
- They know how to paws for dramatic effect.
What does a dog-loving yoga teacher say?
- Pay more attention to your paws-ture.
What does a puppy call its father?
- Paw paw.
What did the clever dog receive after performing his tricks?
- A round of ap-paws.
What special offer did the pet store have?
Buy one dog, get one flea!
How does a puppy describe sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What do dogs and phones have in common?
- They both have collar ID.
What do you call a dog that is cold?
- A chilli dog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
- Pooched eggs.
Funny Dog One Liner Jokes
And last but not least, we have a collection of one liner jokes about dogs that puppy owners will definitely appreciate. Bust these out at a party, as opening lines on a dating website or at the doggy park. We’re pretty confident that we’ve found the best dog jokes below:
A dog mom to her pup: “Dinner’s ready soon. Don’t fill up on homework.“
- I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them.
- I used to have a dog who liked red wine. He was a bordeaux collie.
- Local dog barks at everyone. He’s a cross breed.
- Where do you find a dog with no legs? Same place you left him.
- What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike? My dog doesn’t ride a bike!
- What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he isn’t coming.
- As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.
- She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
And that’s our list of the greatest dog jokes & dog one liners complete! Do you have a joke about puppies or a cute dog joke you want to add to our list? Comment it below to be included!
And if you loved our dog breed riddles be sure to share them on. Because we take pride in providing funny dog jokes and puns for the whole family!
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Dad Jokes About Dogs – Amusing Dog Riddles & Pet Puns
Disclaimer: AlphaPetsUK.com does not intend to provide veterinary advice. While the information provided is thoroughly researched, the content is not a substitute for veterinary care and guidance.
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Best riddles i have ever seen ! thanks