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80 Funny Dog Jokes and Puns – Best Dog Riddles For Kids

Funny dog jokes and puns

Funny Dog One Liner Jokes & Puppy Puns For The Whole Family

Do you love a good dog pun and pet humor? We’ve compiled a list of the funniest dog jokes and puns for your paw-lesure. From the best dad jokes about dogs, to funny one liners about dogs, and everything in between, we aim to make you smile from cheek to cheek by the time you finish reading our round-up.

Not only are these some of the corniest jokes we could come up with – but they are mean to be enjoyed by the whole family. Chuckle away and let us know in the comment section which dog joke, pun or riddle got you giggling.

Funny Dog Riddles

We’re kicking things off with a selection of our best dog riddles for kids. These question and answer dog jokes are engaging, entertaining and can keep both kids and adults busy and bemused. Spot our funny dog puns jokes!

Why shouldn’t a dog bark in the elevator?
Because it’s wrong on so many levels.

Why are Dalmatians no good at playing hide and seek?

Because they’re always spotted.

What did the big dog say to his pup after losing a game of football?

Don’t terrier yourself up about it.

What does a dog get when she graduates?

A pet-degree.

What should you do when your dog chews your dictionary?

Take the words right out of his mouth.

What type of market should dog owners avoid?

A flea market.

What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler?

Anything you like, but speak quietly!

Why do dogs hate telemarketing calls?

They don’t like being hounded.

What do you call a stubborn pooch?


What’s black and white and red all over?

A very embarrassed Dalmatian.

What do you get when you cross a small dog and a large boat?

A ship tzu.

What happens to a dog that eats nothing but garlic?

His bark becomes worse than his bite.

What happens when you buy a puppy from a blacksmith?

When you get home, she’ll make a bolt for the door!

Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can’t whistle.

What do you call a dog who designs buildings?

A bark-itect.

Why would a Jack Russell make a good photographer? 

Because he’s always snapping.

What is a chihuahua’s favorite sport?

Miniature golf.

What did the clean dog say to the insect? 

Long time, no flea.

Why did the dalmatian go to the eye doctor?

He kept seeing spots. 

What did the puppy say to the shoe?

It’s been nice gnawing you.

What kind of dog can sniff out new flowers?

A budhound.

What do you get if you cross a dog and an airplane?

A jet setter.

Why did the lawyer get in trouble for interrogating the dog?

He was leading the witness.

What does a lazy dog chase?

Parked cars.

What breed of dog do scientists have?


What was the dog thinking when he forgot his lines in the school play?

I should at least make a dog-nified exit. 

What was the brainiac dog professor called?

A philoso-fur!

What do you call a clever dog detective? 

Sherlock bones.

What did the dog say when it was asked to complete some math homework?

That’s simply im-paws-sible!

What do you get when you cross a frog with a dog?

A croaker spaniel.

Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it’s tricky to run in squares.

Why are dogs terrible dancers?

Because they have two left feet.

Why did the snowman name his dog Forst?

Because he bites.

What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?

A cocker-poodle-doo.

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Her owner threw a boomerang.

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

He didn’t want to be a hot dog.

Where do dogs go if they lose their tails?

A reTAIL store.

What do dogs do when they finish obedience school?

They get their masters.

What do you call a dog magician?

A labra-cadabra-dor.

What do you call a dog with surround sound?

A subwoofer.

What do you need to be careful of when it rains cats and dogs?

Stepping in poodles.

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A bloodhound.

What did the skeleton chef say to the puppy?

Bone appetit! 

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the pound.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to the barking lot.

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he say the monster?


What is a dog’s favorite city?

New Yorkie.

What instrument do dogs play?


What is the only dog that likes to take a bath?

A sham-poodle.

Why did the bulldog bring toilet paper to the party?

Because he’s a party pooper.

What is a dog’s favourite summer drink?

A slush puppy.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?

A terrified mailman.

Why can’t dogs use the TV remote?

They always press the paws button.

What dogs should you get if you want a quiet pet?

A hush puppy.

Best Dog Related Puns

And when it comes down to it, who doesn’t love a good dog related pun? We’ve compiled our favorite bad dog jokes and the funniest dog quotes you can find – alongside more dog riddles for kids, for your enjoyment.

If your kids loved the pet riddles, they are going to love these puns about dogs as well!

Why shouldn’t a mechanic have a dog?
Because it would put a spaniel in the works.

Why did the large dog dislike the park?

  • Because it was a mastiff waste of time.

What happened to the dog who let her puppies out onto the street?

  • She got fined for littering.

What do police need when a dog is missing?

  • A few good leads.

Why are dogs good storytellers?

  • They know how to paws for dramatic effect.

What does a dog-loving yoga teacher say?

  • Pay more attention to your paws-ture.

What does a puppy call its father?

  • Paw paw.

What did the clever dog receive after performing his tricks?

  • A round of ap-paws.

What special offer did the pet store have?
Buy one dog, get one flea!

How does a puppy describe sandpaper?

  • Ruff!

What do dogs and phones have in common?

  • They both have collar ID.

What do you call a dog that is cold?

  • A chilli dog.

What do dogs eat for breakfast?

  • Pooched eggs.
dog related puns, jokes and riddles

Funny Dog One Liner Jokes

And last but not least, we have a collection of one liner jokes about dogs that puppy owners will definitely appreciate. Bust these out at a party, as opening lines on a dating website or at the doggy park. We’re pretty confident that we’ve found the best dog jokes below:

A dog mom to her pup: “Dinner’s ready soon. Don’t fill up on homework.

  1. I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them.
  2. I used to have a dog who liked red wine. He was a bordeaux collie.
  3. Local dog barks at everyone. He’s a cross breed.
  4. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Same place you left him.
  5. What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike? My dog doesn’t ride a bike!
  6. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he isn’t coming.
  7. As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.
  8. She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

And that’s our list of the greatest dog jokes & dog one liners complete! Do you have a  joke about puppies or a  cute dog joke you want to add to our list? Comment it below to be included!

And if you loved our dog breed riddles be sure to share them on. Because we take pride in providing funny dog jokes and puns for the whole family!

Read More Dog Related Articles:

Dad Jokes About Dogs – Amusing Dog Riddles & Pet Puns

1 thought on “80 Funny Dog Jokes and Puns – Best Dog Riddles For Kids

  1. Best riddles i have ever seen ! thanks

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